Saturday, February 28

Because I know you're all very concerned...

I'm still alive. I was miserable yesterday, but felt a MILLION TIMES better after an amazing gas station hot dog and some caffeine. Srsly, best hot dog ever. And then I actually managed to get out of working the morning shift today, because I happened to overhear another nurse looking for someone to cover next friday afternoon. We traded. But I still had to work this afternoon. And it was terrible. A colostomy was involved. I'll let your imagination run wild. I hate my job right now, and I think I'm going to have to underschedule myself for the next month. I'll be poor, but I'll mostly be working the job I love, and maybe seeing my husband once in a while.

Well. That was long winded.

Here's a funny video involving my scaredy kitty and my best friend's adorable new baby, and their first meeting:

ETA: after reviewing my own post, I realize this is a lot darker on the internet than on my computer. Let me know if it's unwatchable. I'll just take it off.

Thursday, February 26

Subconscious Suicide

Apparently, I have a very poor grasp of future reality. Like when I agreed to work an afternoon shift (2-10) and then a double (6-10) the next day. And like when I told my "real" job I could work the night before as well. And the night before that.

Was I trying to kill myself?

I worked last night. I got about 6 hours of sleep the day before, because my body hates me, I guess. And I worked the night before that. Now, after 5 hours of sleep, I'm awake and getting ready to go to work for 8 hours, to come home and sleep for 7 if I'm lucky, then work for another 16.

Will stabbing myself in the eye get rid of this headache? Or, better yet, will it get me out of the work I so stupidly committed to?

Monday, February 23


Just a few videos to make your day happy....

"Just another day with a bag on my head"

"Don't mess with granny" (short and sweet)

"Everything's amazing, but nobody's happy!"
Sorry I can't embed this video; NBC seems to have hunted down every single copy except this one, for some reason. It's about 4 minutes long, and TOTALLY worth it.

Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman, and on something pretty strong, apparently....

It's a little longer, 5 minutes, but hilarious. He is on there to promote Two Lovers, and has no idea what's going on. Crazy.

Tuesday, February 17

Television teaches me so many things!

I recently admitted to being a new Biggest Loser addict. I love that show, and I love Jillian Michaels, one of the trainers. She's a hard-core butt kicker with a body I certainly envy. One of these days I think I want to try her 30 Day Shred, if I can ever find 30 consecutive days with time to workout (that seems VERY unlikely at this point).

So anyway, she was one of my favorite "fitness gurus." And then I saw last week's episode of The Biggest Loser.

On this episode, one of the contestants weighed in after 30 days at home, and only lost two pounds. The host naturally asked her if she was upset by that, and she responded quite bravely,

"Yes and no. I am stronger. I did things at home that pushed me just as hard as Jillian pushed me here. I know I built muscle, I know I built endurance, so I'm back to build some more and that's what's necessary to shed the fat off anyway, so I'm gonna do it."

Good for her. But then Jillian pipes up, and calls her explanation "bullsh**," going into a nice long rant with Bob chiming in about not making excuses and sugar-coating it, and how she has to lose 100 lbs and thank goodness she's back and that's what they'll do. Well, ok, setting aside the fact that that was just plain mean, she has a point... In people who are 200-300 lbs, it is, to a certain extent, the numbers on the scale that matter. But then they cut to her monologue, and she goes off on the "bullcrap that goes on around weight loss:"

"Trainers pull that trick on clients all the time- 'You've lost nothing but you've gained muscle.' Oh I love this one- 'You've lost inches even though the scale hasn't moved!' What?!"

Oh man, I lost it. What. The. Crap. So then, muscle doesn't matter? I just want to move the scale? Oh good, so when I stopped working out in November and started living on sugar and fast food, I was still healthy cos the scale didn't really move even though my muscle completely wasted away. Awesome. And I guess the anorexics had it right all along! Screw being healthy, I just want to move that scale! Good to know. Thank you Jillian. You have inspired me. I now aspire to be like this:

In five short minutes, she made her way from one of my favorite trainers ever to one of the biggest idiots I've ever seen.

Tuesday, February 10


I feel the need to reach out to my loyal blog readers. I know it's been too long. But I have nothing interesting to say. My brain is barely functional. So, for your reading pleasure, an update on my life for the month of February:

Sunday: work
Monday: work
Tuesday: work
Wednesday: work
Thursday: stay at work until 12 pm, come home and sleep the rest of the day
Friday: get called into work, have work broken into by a strange and possibly intoxicated man trying to steal a tv (oh... come to think of it... that is a worthy blog entry in and of itself... maybe after i sleep.)
Saturday: sleep all day to recover from work
Sunday: see the cutest little girl in the whole world ever and get lots of loves and kisses, and then work
Monday: work
Tuesday: stay at work until 12 pm, come home and sleep all day, feel like throat is bleeding from icky raspy coughing (that's today, in case you lost track)
Wednesday: get butt kicked by personal trainer, then go to work
Thursday: work
Saturday: work
Sunday: work

That brings you to the 15th of this month. Exciting, no? Just be grateful I didn't give you time/place details. Even I wouldn't want to read that.

So, seriously, my brain has melted, I am just not creative. Maybe after some good sleep I can tell you about my exciting first time ever calling 911. It was special.