Monday, September 15

A Room for Improvement

I guess it's no secret-- anybody who knows me at all should know I'm jonesing for a baby. Pretty much have been since I got married. But Brit is keeping me in check. Lately, we've had an ongoing--er, "discussion" about whether that should happen sooner or later.

I'm pretty sure I'm losing.

But in the meantime, Brit makes a very good point (I hate to admit) when he says he doesn't think I'm ready to be a mom. There are a lot of things I need to work on, so I'm going to start right now while I wait for him to come around. I could have a lot of time to work on these things......
  • First, and most important I think, is my spirituality. Or at least, spiritual habits. As in, I don't have many good ones. I need to start making those habits NOW before I'm responsible for the teaching of a whole little person. Those things don't magically appear when the kid's a toddler and it's time to start enforcing nursery lessons.
  • Brit's biggest gripe, and it is a problem, is my temper. I have one. I tend to get out-of-control angry and moody at little things. A lot of this I pin to the hormones in birth control, but I don't think that will get any better when I'm pregnant. Or going on 3 months straight of broken sleep. So I need to learn to control it now so it will be easier later, when Brit won't be nearly as calm and forgiving either.
  • I noticed yesterday, as I went from playing World of Warcraft to reading to taking a nap, that I waste a lot of time in the day. Housework and productive things mostly go undone because I'm "tired and stressed" from work and school. And then I realized that when I have a baby, and am probably still working full time, it's only going to be a million times worse. So I'm trying to fill most of my hours between work and school with doing productive things, like keeping the apartment clean and actually making dinners, and limit my "down" time. I'm hoping this will train some of the inherent laziness out of me. And we're off to a good start, blogging about it first thing in the morning. :)
These are probably good habits to get into regardless, and it will keep my mind occupied with goals until it's time. And that makes the waiting seem not nearly so bad.


heather said...

Hey - I'm super proud of you for wanting to be better prepared - in all sense of the word. You children will be greatly blessed because of what a wonderful person, mom, and friend you already are and continue to become. My one thought though: do NOT feel like you need to be perfect at these qualities or practices in order to become a mom. If that were the case, no one would ever have children! Just recognize the fact that it is a constant journey as we continually try to become better. I love the phrase "Try a little harder to be a little better." It is a constant effort, and one that will never be "done." Good luck!! :)

Jen said...

Haha thanks. I know I'll never be perfect. But setting goals to work towards helps to keep me from being sad that I can't have it RIGHT NOW. I kindof have to fake myself out by saying "Oh well I have this and this to get better at, so it's ok to wait."

Cynthia said...

You and Brit will be wonderful parents someday! I know holding off is tough but it will be worth the wait! Good things in life take a long time!! xo