Saturday, November 22

The Obligatory Twilight Post

I have important things to write about, but I'll wait until I get pictures (which I hope I'll get eventually).

Today, I saw Twilight with my husband, his brother, and two of my sisters-in-law. Here is my review, bulleted for your convenience:

The Good
  • Some (emphasis on some) of the cinematography was fabulous, and the colors vivid and beautiful
  • There were some cute one-liners, and some funny dialogue
  • It was nice to see the books I love brought to life, and compare the images with what I saw in my head
  • Bella was wonderful
  • Emmett was nicely done, and funny
  • I like the soundtrack
The Bad
  • The movie was, in short, completely awful. Besides those good points.
  • Nearly all of the Cullens were strange and not very good-looking. Bella was the most pale, and the prettiest of them all without even trying.
  • The most climactic points of the movie (excepting the scene in the ballet studio) COMPLETELY fell flat. There were points in the movie that should have been exciting and adrenaline-producing, and they were simply disappointing.
  • The dialogue was incredibly corny throughout most of the movie.
  • The vital first-meeting of Edward and Bella, in Biology class, was laughable. Edward looked constipated/nauseated. It would have been easy to use the fabulous cinematography they SHOWED they know how to do, and focus in on his eyes.... make it less real-time... basically fake the intense emotions and hatred Bella felt emanating from her lab partner. Instead, it was hysterical, and Edward looked more ill than angry. Terrible.
  • The MOST IMPORTANT scene of the book, of the whole Twilight universe, the scene based on the author's dream that started the whole thing............... it didn't even happen. It was weird, disjointed, the feelings were all off, it happened nothing like in the book (and I know a lot of things were edited, but of all the things to chop up, you could have at LEAST left that important scene untouched)... And yet, there were other RANDOM parts that they took straight from the book that didn't even add to the story
  • ... which made the whole thing a little forced and, again, very disjointed. It was like they were trying to shove certain things in where they just DID NOT fit. Like a square peg in a round hole.
  • At the very end, the whole prom scene... well, the whole thing was disappointing. Bella wasn't all dressed up and gorgeous like she was supposed to be, but more importantly, they just ignored a perfect opportunity for a gorgeous choreography scene. I thought he was supposed to be an accomplished dancer?
  • Many random points in the film made no sense. Like the other vampires being in town from the beginning... there was NO sense of danger or concern from the Cullens. And there was a scene at the end where Victoria was close by, and Edward did not even react. I don't believe that the vampires Stephenie Myer established would not be able to sense a vampire so close, especially Edward.
I can't believe Myer was actually excited about this film. It butchers her wonderful books completely. Doesn't even begin to do them justice. I'm not sad I went... it was fun, and I enjoyed it... but I would never see it again, never buy the movie, and never recommend it to anybody who hadn't read the books already. It was amusing, and that was all.


Kristina P. said...

I have heard some really bad reviews from people who are die hard fans.

Do you think that Meyers felt sort of obligated to say good things about the movie?

Jen said...

It's really hard to say. I hadn't thought of it that way. I always just thought of her as so enamored with her books becoming a movie, she was blinded to the bad parts. I think either one is a possibility. But, before she was Ms. Popularity, she WAS pretty open and honest on her website... Hmm. Ok here's my theory: at first she was just enamored, and thought it would be fabulous. Before the badness started becoming a reality. Then, she was so popular and in the public eye, she felt obligated to not trash talk it.

the letter Bee said...

I haven't seen it. I was turned off by the trailers for it. There was one in particular that made the movie look like it would be a horrendous train wreck. It was a scene in a cafeteria. Bella drops an apple and it bounces off Edward's shoe or something and he catches it and holds it in the pose that is on the cover of the book. I threw up a little.

Lorie said...

Glad I didn't stay up past my bed time to see it!

I am sure she said good things because A) it would be easy to get caught up in how exciting it is to have your books made into a movie and B) I am sure she would like the $ from having ALL of her books made into movies, and coming out and saying 'this movie stinks' would probably keep the production company form wanting to make New Moon.

heather said...

I still say it was a fun movie, and I liked it ... but then again, I am not as devoted to the books as you are - so that probably makes a difference. Either way, I had a blast seeing it with you!! Thanks for initiating it and seeing it through!! Love ya!!

Mary said...

I liked it. But I am also a very new fan to the series. Good analysis!

Jen said...

Brittany- Sadly, that was one of the less bad parts of the whole movie. Heather and Mary- to clarify, I really did enjoy the movie, but as a general movie critic, it was very very poorly done.

the letter Bee said...

Hahahaha... I heard there was a "spidermonkey" line. I think I'm going to see it this weekend. LOL

Julianne said...

I am pretty much right with you on all those points. The points I would add are that I thought Bella was overly skittish in her conversation and the way her eyes darted around, the music could have been helped, and Edward was/is NOT NOTNOTNOT cute! Baa! I don't like him. He somewhat grew on me during the movie, but I saw him on Jay Leno last night and he looks more stoned than ever!

In contrast, I thought the Cullens were all perfectly portrayed, except maybe Carlisle. He was a little wierd-looking to me. Well, and of course, Edward needed to be about 100x cuter than who they got to play him. Boo. But I loved Alice and Emmett, I think they were the best. Also, all the high school friends' portrayals were good, too.

Anyway. Also - what was the dream Stephanie Meyers had that they left out of the movie? Haven't heard of that...

Jen said...

The dream:

I agree about Edward and Carlisle, too. The one I had REAL issue with (i mean, besides Edward, because isn't he supposed to be beyond hot?) was Jasper. He was freaky looking!