Baby Things

I had a lot of things I wanted to update about, and a lot of pictures I wanted to share. Unfortunately, after taking a couple pictures of my cute husband making me "breakfast in bed" after work on mother's day, my camera has DISAPPEARED OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET. I know exactly what I did with it- I set it on the kitchen counter. And now it is nowhere in the entire house. I am baffled, and more than a little annoyed.

Luckily, I already got the pictures of my baby shower onto my computer. So my shower was 2 1/2 weeks ago (I'm a little slow), and it was perfect. A lot more people showed up than I thought would, but it was still just the right amount for an intimate gathering. No silly shower games (no offense to those who like them, just not my thing), and we managed to keep up good conversation without the awkward silences I feared. I loved it. Yay for parties! Thanks again, Kari and Lanie!

And then of course there was the half a sheet cake left over that Brit and I managed to polish off in about a week and a half. We are so healthy.

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In other baby-related news, I had my first "big" doctor's appointment yesterday. She was reluctant to check, but I made her do it anyway. And apparently, I'm already a 3 and 60% (I figure if you know what that means, it's not TMI. At least that's how it works in my twisted brain). She sent me on with strict admonishment to "take it easy," whatever that means, and said she doesn't want to see this baby until at least 38 weeks (I'm 36 now).

Yesterday morning, I was telling everyone who asked that I was "done" with being pregnant. My hips hurt, my feet are swollen, my poor legs get tired just supporting my fat self for any amount of time... I didn't really care if he did come 4 weeks early, I wanted out. After being faced with the reality of a baby possibly coming 4 weeks early, though, my attitude has rapidly and dramatically shifted. Now, I'm terrified of this kid coming out. I don't want him to be in a NICU when we go home. I don't even want them to take him away from me for "observation" for a few hours, as they did with Isabelle. I want a nice, normal delivery with a healthy baby who stays with me and nurses when he's ready. I'm not ready for this! And beyond even my worries about a healthy baby, I'm suddenly realizing that I'm terrified to start this journey into motherhood. Looking at our little bassinet as I was going to bed last night, I realized that in just a few short weeks, sleep would be a fond and distant memory. I'm not ready for that. Sure sleeping is hard with my belly so big, but at least he's not keeping me up for hours at a time screaming. And I highly doubt he's going to just be an "easy" baby.

So I'm crossing my legs and being as lazy as humanly possibly for at least the next two weeks. My snarky husband doubts that's even possible. And he's probably right. But I'll do my best. I don't care if I'm uncomfortable, I want a healthy baby.